Thursday, November 6, 2014
10 Things I Hope To Teach You
Dear Lydia,
So I have said this before but the reason I'm doing this blog is so that in case something horrible ever happens to me and we are separated by death than you will at least have a little piece of me. That you will be able to see a little glimpse of the mom I am trying to be. And maybe I can be a little bit of an inspiration to the kind of Mom you want to be. Nothing in life would be more flattering. My relationship with my parents was always me trying to not be like them, which is not really fair to them. But I set up an ideal for the type of Mom I wanted to be. I wanted to always be there for you, so far i'm good on that one. My day revolves around you and your toys and your diapers and teaching you letters. But mainly I wanted you to get a head start on a couple of the secrets of life. Good values make a good person. I'm not saying I know them all, or even that I am even very good at implementing them all (even though I am ;). I'm only 27. But here is a little list of things that I hope I can teach you.
1. This is a big one. We have a Heavenly Father who loves us. That means every person you meet is as dear to you as your brother, you just don't remember. Everyone you meet could be fighting a harder battle than you can see. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Have charity. Believe in the good of others. Remember to still be careful, don't put yourself in a position where a stranger can hurt you. There should be a balance in your judgement of others. It's ok to learn from others mistakes, it makes you smart. It's ok to look at traits in others and decide you do not want them as your own, just don't punish them for it. Choose to spend the majority of your time with good people for those you love will have power over you, make sure they deserve it.
2. Skin color is only as important as hair color, which is to say just appriciate its beauty. And trying to physically look like someone else will only take away from the beauty you are born with. There is beauty in diversity.
3. Most other people will not reach out to you and you can not expect them to, you should reach out to them. But this who do reach out to you are usually the favorites.
4. Kindness is always the best answer. At 3, I know this is already in you, don't ever let yourself get confused. Mean girls in school? Kill them with kindness, no matter how hard it is because in the long run you will always win. I delt with some mean girls, I was never mean back and some of them are still my friends. Don't sink to a lesser persons level. Inspire them to be better. Give them a chance to learn the better way. Teach by example.
5. Forgive everyone for everything, because only you are hurt by the grudges you hold inside. It can poison and change you into the same type of person who hurt you. Watch that happen in others. But only forget if you know the person is truly repentant, then give a second chance.
6. Always tell those you love how you feel. May you never know how someone you love can be gone in an instant and all you want to do is make sure they know/knew how much you mean to them. Even if it's a boy and it's unrequited, you will always wonder what might have been and the sting of rejection may hurt but it dies sooner then regret. Unless, of course, he is the type of person whom you do not want to have power over you. Because sometimes we love people we don't like. So please know how to use both your heart and your brain. There is a reason there is a book called, "he is just not that into you."
7. It is ok to be emotional, it is ok to wear your big heart on your sleeve. Speak your mind, stand up for yourself. Those who tell you otherwise are bitter and wrong. It is also just as important to know when silence speaks louder than words.
8. Whit and cleverness is the best kind of sense of humor. It's only ok to make fun of people for choices they have made, not what they were forced to do or were born with. Bullying is not funny.
9. Take care of yourself. Eat well but it's ok to follow your cravings occasionally. Food is one of my favorite things in life, let it make you happy. Drugs and Alcohol have the power to take descions away from you. You could hurt yourself or someone else in almost every situation involving substances, even with just a little bit. The only way to not relinquish control is to avoid.
10. Live below your means. This is something you might hardly see me do, but I try really hard. Please be better than me. Do not covet thy neighbors possessions. Save money.
So I have said this before but the reason I'm doing this blog is so that in case something horrible ever happens to me and we are separated by death than you will at least have a little piece of me. That you will be able to see a little glimpse of the mom I am trying to be. And maybe I can be a little bit of an inspiration to the kind of Mom you want to be. Nothing in life would be more flattering. My relationship with my parents was always me trying to not be like them, which is not really fair to them. But I set up an ideal for the type of Mom I wanted to be. I wanted to always be there for you, so far i'm good on that one. My day revolves around you and your toys and your diapers and teaching you letters. But mainly I wanted you to get a head start on a couple of the secrets of life. Good values make a good person. I'm not saying I know them all, or even that I am even very good at implementing them all (even though I am ;). I'm only 27. But here is a little list of things that I hope I can teach you.
1. This is a big one. We have a Heavenly Father who loves us. That means every person you meet is as dear to you as your brother, you just don't remember. Everyone you meet could be fighting a harder battle than you can see. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Have charity. Believe in the good of others. Remember to still be careful, don't put yourself in a position where a stranger can hurt you. There should be a balance in your judgement of others. It's ok to learn from others mistakes, it makes you smart. It's ok to look at traits in others and decide you do not want them as your own, just don't punish them for it. Choose to spend the majority of your time with good people for those you love will have power over you, make sure they deserve it.
2. Skin color is only as important as hair color, which is to say just appriciate its beauty. And trying to physically look like someone else will only take away from the beauty you are born with. There is beauty in diversity.
3. Most other people will not reach out to you and you can not expect them to, you should reach out to them. But this who do reach out to you are usually the favorites.
4. Kindness is always the best answer. At 3, I know this is already in you, don't ever let yourself get confused. Mean girls in school? Kill them with kindness, no matter how hard it is because in the long run you will always win. I delt with some mean girls, I was never mean back and some of them are still my friends. Don't sink to a lesser persons level. Inspire them to be better. Give them a chance to learn the better way. Teach by example.
5. Forgive everyone for everything, because only you are hurt by the grudges you hold inside. It can poison and change you into the same type of person who hurt you. Watch that happen in others. But only forget if you know the person is truly repentant, then give a second chance.
6. Always tell those you love how you feel. May you never know how someone you love can be gone in an instant and all you want to do is make sure they know/knew how much you mean to them. Even if it's a boy and it's unrequited, you will always wonder what might have been and the sting of rejection may hurt but it dies sooner then regret. Unless, of course, he is the type of person whom you do not want to have power over you. Because sometimes we love people we don't like. So please know how to use both your heart and your brain. There is a reason there is a book called, "he is just not that into you."
7. It is ok to be emotional, it is ok to wear your big heart on your sleeve. Speak your mind, stand up for yourself. Those who tell you otherwise are bitter and wrong. It is also just as important to know when silence speaks louder than words.
8. Whit and cleverness is the best kind of sense of humor. It's only ok to make fun of people for choices they have made, not what they were forced to do or were born with. Bullying is not funny.
9. Take care of yourself. Eat well but it's ok to follow your cravings occasionally. Food is one of my favorite things in life, let it make you happy. Drugs and Alcohol have the power to take descions away from you. You could hurt yourself or someone else in almost every situation involving substances, even with just a little bit. The only way to not relinquish control is to avoid.
10. Live below your means. This is something you might hardly see me do, but I try really hard. Please be better than me. Do not covet thy neighbors possessions. Save money.
All Hallows' Eve
Dear Lydia,
I spent last night watching you be the nicest person. We went trick-or-treating at the mall. You would go get a candy and would get stuck there because other kids were behind you and you didn't want to push through them. Then a little boy right by you spilled his candy and you said, "I'll help you" and proceeded to pick up his candies and put them in his bucket. You did not try to take a single piece of candy for herself. You are 2. 
Also you wore lipstick and blush for the first time. You cried a little because it was hard to stand still for so long, after having to to get your hair curled. :)
Your so beautiful, and so kind. I'm so glad your mine.
Love Mommy
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